YA GOTTA SEE THIS!
MOOSIC TO OUR EARS!
Ever heard a baritone cow mooing? That’s me! I am going to become rich and famous. Thank you VEGANS for saving me from being somebody’s dinner. MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO!
UH OH – SOMETHING’S IN THE AIR!
You know what that is? Old animal flesh is rotting in someone’s gut. Peppermints aren’t enough to do the job. Some heavy duty colon and blood cleansing to the rescue! A VEGAN Lifestyle could be the remedy! Chemicals and pesticides in food cause greater stink! Certified Organic saves the day!
LUMPS AND BUMPS
Zits are the pits; colon waste travels through the blood and “poops” through the skin. Happens the most from consuming high acid animal flesh and dairy. TIME TO CLEANSE and GO VEGAN!
WHAT’S YOUR THING?
Hi again, I’m Nellie. Animals know unspeakable pain and suffering: pens, cages, tags, debeaking, declawing, being squooshed in warehouses, and fattened for slaughter. IT’S OUT IN THE OPEN! HORRENDOUS! What people eat determines if we live or die. Vegans have consciences that say, “KEEP THEM ALIVE!” VEGAN IS THE THING!
GOT SOMETHIN’ STUCK IN THERE?
Do you know the most hated word on the planet? It is responsible for the most health issues there are. Young and old suffer with this condition. The worst case stems from the consumption of animal flesh. The word sick comes from the word toxic. Toxicity begins in the colon. If you didn’t guess it by now…
WHAT’S THAT ON YOUR PLATE?
Ever had fire roasted pickled monkey? It’s best with the fur. It keeps your insides warm. People eat everything else that moves in the woods, swims, flies, crawls, or hops. Why not something that swings through trees?
WHERE’S THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER?
Eat a lotta acid foods? You know, animal flesh, eggs, dairy that make your gut like an inferno/fire pit! The three highest acid foods on the planet linger in the body for long periods of time. They cause inflammation that eats away at bones, tissue, joints, and organs. Wanna know why so many people have so many health issues? See what’s on their plates!
Like buffalo wings? So do we… we’re keepin’ ours and givin’ you the veggie ones. So, flap right over to your grocer’s freezer and have at it! Not a bite, er bit of harm to us! NO BONES ABOUT IT!
WHAT IS THAT?
Lemme ask ya somethin’. WOULD YOU EAT YOUR DOG? How about your cat, turtle, bird, fish, rabbit, frog, pet snake? You really think you’re supposed to eat animals? A human body is made to eat fruits, vegetables, and maybe grains and legumes. IT’S A PLANT FOOD EXPLOSION!!!
KA-CHING KA-CHING KA-CHANGE
All living beings are protein! Protein thrives on minerals. Some people eat dogs, cats, alligators, crocodiles, snakes, frogs, squirrels, rabbits, and other animals for protein. Animal consumption is not compatible with human anatomy. Grains and legumes are digestible proteins for humans. Get your VEGAN CHANGE ready for a lot of ka-changing!
FUN FOR WHO?
Fish for dinner? Wanna be the one swimming in the ocean? Won’t last long! Rods are dangling wiggly worms and wet soggy dough balls. You’re a goner! Once that hook’s pierced your jaw, drags you to land, jerks you up, with your lungs gasping for air, just know you’re gonna be slapped on a plate with cocktail sauce. DINNER SERVED!
Would THE CREATOR hurt little bunnies? If you were a bunny would you want to make a human happy by having your paws cut off for lucky charms, your eyelids cut off for mascara testing, and your fur stripped from your body for coats for humans? Hmmm. How does this make sense?
MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH
Anything that eats from or lives off of something else is considered a parasite. You never thought of yourself as one did you? From the time you were born and ate from your mother’s body, and even while you were in her belly, you were a parasite. Now you are going to eat from MOTHER EARTH, “Who” feeds all beings.
CLANG CLANG CLANG
Ever seen a fireman rescue someone in distress from a burning building? Every time you choose to eat a veggie burger or veggie nuggets, you are saving an animal from a “burning building.” It matters to each one of them. It’s COOL TO BE UN-CRUEL!
Who said I’m a scared rabbit? Are you scared? Do you feel safe in your hole? Do you worry that something or somebody is gonna get you? What’s it gonna take to feel safe on this planet?
FREE TO FLY
All creatures are born to be free. We can only be who and what we are when we are free. The Creator gave wings to the bird so it could fly free. Humans have brains that allow them the ability to set themselves free.
WHO AM I?
This is a confusing world. So many different people and animals. How do I know where I fit in? When I get quiet and my stomach is calm that tells me I’m in the right place and I’m doing the right thing.
DOES THIS BELONG TO ME?
Does that belong to you? If you drink cow milk, it surely doesn’t! The consequence is asthma, sinus infections, lung disorders and all kinds of breathing issues. VEGANS wisely choose plant foods for their milk products. Why take what doesn’t belong to us as we have all of these other choices? Every baby is entitled to its mommy’s milk!
TO DIGEST OR NOT TO DIGEST!
Nothin’ blows up a belly faster than animal flesh in soups, stews, and chilis. Human teeth cannot gnash or break down animal flesh adequately, nor are there enough powerful enzymes to do the job. Chunks of flesh get stuck in long curved human intestines. Acid levels are not high enough to break down the flesh either. Dead animal pieces are stuck in human colons for many years. Consuming animal flesh can be very harmful to kidneys. Beans and veggies provide complete nutrition and keep a colon clean.
INSIGNIFICANT? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
Are you aware tiny critters have a purpose and reason for living? We’re gnat givin’ up our lives! Each of us is special. Hard to believe ant it? Bug it’s true. Next time you want to exterminate us, think twice; bee nice. If you want us to flea, or prevent our entry, use a little apple cider vinegar and water when you’re cleaning.
Do animals have to prove they are worthy by doing hard labor? When people own animals, they have responsibilities to be kind, and provide for the animal’s needs. If they can’t live up to this, they shouldn’t own us.
WHO IS THE OWNER AND BOSS?
Every living being is owned by THE CREATOR. We are here to be kind and caring to all creatures. We do not want to do anything to others we would not want done to us. No one wants to experience harm, pain, and suffering. Animals and humans can be living in a peaceful, caring garden. Without human interference, that is the natural way for all things.
IT’S MINE! THE CREATOR GAVE IT TO ME…HANDS OFF!
How many minks, rabbits, foxes, and others does it take to make one full length coat? Wanna be alive and warm during the winters? So do we! We need our fur and hides to keep us warm. When humans take our skin, it is beyond painful. Think you could find a non-animal warm coat in your local store? Maybe you could be kind enough to let us stay around a “full length” lifetime.
THE CHASE IS ON
Ever been to a steeplechase? They gotta leap over hedges and hurdles. You wanna do that all your life? Exhaustion and bone deterioration are your pay. The horse is awarded a wreath. What is more important, people, the wreath, the horse, or money? Where’s the conscience behind all of this?
THERE GOES RUSTY
Know anything about horse or dog racing? “There goes Rusty,” the fake rabbit on a mechanical device that travels the interior of the track, teasing the horse or dog to chase it. Ever been chased and yelled at to run faster faster faster? When they reach the finish line all that is left is energy to collapse. Day in, day out, this is the job you humans have given us. You want it? Neither do we!
People are the weirdest creatures; brutal and savage in some parts of the world. How can a country allow such inhumanness as bullfighting? Is there anything people won’t do for money and “prestige?” During the fights the bulls are tormented, teased, and terrified. The matador then stabs the bull with several swords.
COMPASSION POWER – COME TO THE RESCUE!!!!
TO THE DEATH
Do you know that pit bulls, Rottweilers, and roosters are trained to be brutal in animal fighting rings? These naturally docile critters are trained to tear each other apart. Trained dog and cock fights are a big money maker; blood and guts all over the place. Let’s Treat All People And All Animals The Way We Want To Be Treated. ANIMALS LEARN WHAT WE TEACH THEM! SAME WITH PEOPLE! COMPASSION IS COOL!
POACHED OR OVER EASY
Most every living being came from some kind of egg. Excuse me sir/madam, could we interest you in an alligator egg, perfectly roasted and at a special price on the menu? Ketchup on the side? We welcome your tip at the end of the meal and here’s ours: BECOME VEGAN!
OPEN THE LID AND LET US OUT
Ever hear of anyone buying canned meat? How can you stick a cow in a small can? A big pasture makes more sense. Why would you try to cram this big body that lives on alfalfa grass all day into a small tin can? Only small minded people could come up with that one.
THE RIGHT STUFF
You part of a community? Do your people copy each other? Do they copy good stuff? We want you to copy all VEGAN stuff, cause that’s the stuff that will make stuff of the future safe and loving. So, if you need to know more stuff about becoming Vegan, we got plenty of stuff to share with you. VEGAN IS GREAT STUFF!
MENU FIT FOR A ???
All Just For You: Herb Crusted Duck Heart, Caramelized Goose Liver, Pastry Filled Chicken Gizzards, Boiled and Battered Cow Tongue, and Bobbling Charred Lobster Eyes. For dessert, we have Curdled Flan, Glazed Salamander Saliva, and Sizzling Worms with Powdered Sugar. Be sure to leave a large tip before you exit. Here’s ours for you: Don’t Come Back until you’re VEGAN!
WILD THING…YOU MAKE MY HEART ZING (and shiver)
Guess what your mom is cooking for dinner tonight? Your favorite: Creamy turtle soup with floating snails and deep fried hippo chips on a bed of fried lice. You may want to pick up a bottle of kicky lumpy sauce on your way home. Hippo just isn’t complete without it. Scrumpdiliicious!
Can’t tell us apart? The new real veggie nuggets look better and more naturally golden fried than the old chicken nuggets. People love Ranch, Sweet Mustard, and BBQ on these. You don’t have to settle for just one dipping sauce. Womp ’em down; go to town!
LEAPIN’ LUCKY CHARMS
Any extra body parts you wanna give up? Humans are always after ours. They love our claws, jaws, and paws and think they bring you good luck. Send us your tongue or a foot or two! Let’s see what kinda luck that’ll do!
Did you lose your temper? Did you lose your appetite? Did you lose your way home? For sure if you become VEGAN, you are not losing anything. You just gained a new, delicious, healthy, harm free and compassionate life. Congratulations on The Perfect Find!
US (us not Uncle Sam) wants you, to become part of the VEGAN FAMILY. We’re waiting to count you among the bunch of earth changing, loving, grateful, caring people who make this place safe and free for all to just be. You in? Can’t do this without you! We’re counting on you.